November 2026 | Issue No. 004 · 6 minute read
Most of us have things we do in a particular way without giving them much thought.
We take the same route, meet the same friend in the same place, or make a certain recipe whenever people gather. After enough repetition, these things become so familiar that they almost disappear from view.
And most of the time, that is useful.
Familiarity saves us from having to make a decision about everything. It gives our days rhythm and allows us to move through ordinary routines without constantly reconsidering how they should happen.
But familiarity also teaches us what to expect.
We expect the class to happen at the usual time. We expect certain people to be there. We expect a familiar part of the year to look roughly the way it has before.
Often, we do not realize how much we were expecting until something changes.
Then suddenly we notice.
When Something Changes
Sometimes the change is significant. More often, it is surprisingly ordinary.
The restaurant is closed. Someone else is teaching the class. The gathering is happening somewhere different this year.
Nothing terrible has happened, yet the response can be immediate.
This isn’t how it usually goes.
And quite often, our first impression is that we liked the familiar version better.
Sometimes that will turn out to be true. But I have been wondering how quickly we can decide that something is worse simply because it is different from what we expected.
The familiar version becomes our reference point. Whatever is happening now gets compared with it before we have had much opportunity to experience the new version on its own.
There is nothing unusual about that. Familiarity feels comfortable partly because we know where we are in it.
What may be more interesting is what happens next.
Do we stay with that first impression, or can we leave a little room to find out more?
Leaving the Verdict Open
Mindfulness often begins with noticing what is actually happening, including our own reaction to it.
We can prefer the usual yoga teacher and still become curious about the person teaching today. We can wish the original plan had worked and still pay attention to what happens instead. We can miss something familiar without deciding immediately that the new version has nothing to offer.
Curiosity does not ask us to like the change.
It simply leaves the verdict open for a little longer.
Maybe the different teacher introduces an approach we have never tried. Perhaps the changed plan creates a conversation that would not otherwise have happened. Or perhaps we give the new version a fair chance and still prefer the old one.
All of those outcomes are possible.
There is a useful difference between thinking, “I don’t like this,” and noticing, “I don’t like this so far.”
One is a conclusion.
The other leaves a little room.
What the Change Can Reveal
Unexpected changes can also show us why something familiar mattered in the first place.
We might think a regular lunch is about the restaurant until the restaurant closes and everyone immediately starts looking for another place to meet. Apparently, the restaurant was not the most important part.
A weekly class may seem to be about the practice itself, but when the schedule changes we may realize that we also miss the familiar faces and the ease of entering a room where we know what to expect.
That kind of connection is easy to overlook because it rarely announces itself as important.
Sometimes belonging is built through ordinary repetition. We see the same neighbour regularly, someone at a familiar place begins to recognize us, or we return to a group often enough that eventually we are no longer entirely unknown.
A routine may be carrying more than we realized.
The class may also be community. The regular dinner may also be connection. The familiar walk may also be time with someone we care about.
When something changes, what had been travelling quietly alongside the routine can become easier to see.
Of course, change can reveal something else too.
A familiar routine disappears and we discover that we do not miss it as much as expected. Something gets done differently and works perfectly well. A tradition shifts slightly and still feels like ours.
That does not mean the old way was wrong.
It simply means we have learned something we could not know while everything stayed the same.
What We Would Not Have Chosen
There is something interesting about the unexpected precisely because we probably would not have chosen it ourselves.
Most of us naturally return to people, places and routines that feel familiar. That makes sense. Familiarity is comfortable, and it asks less of our attention.
Every now and then, though, life makes another choice for us. The plan changes. The usual option is unavailable. Someone does something differently.
Our first instinct may be to put things back the way they were. Sometimes that will still be exactly what we want.
But perhaps there is value in staying with the unfamiliar version long enough to see what is actually there.
Not because every change contains a hidden opportunity, and not because we need to convince ourselves to like it. Simply because the unexpected can show us something we would never have encountered while everything was going according to plan.
We may discover another way of doing something that suits us. Someone may bring something different to a familiar role. Or perhaps the new version is simply fine, which can be useful information when our first reaction was certain it would not be.
That, to me, is where curiosity matters.
It does not ask us to embrace the change. It simply gives the experience a little time before we decide what we think of it.
This Month’s Life Note
This month’s Life Note, Leave a Little Room, continues the reflection on familiarity, unexpected change and the space between our first reaction and what we eventually discover.
It invites you to notice something comfortably familiar, a change that initially brought up resistance, what that reaction revealed, and whether something unexpected has ever offered you something you would not have chosen for yourself.
There is nothing to fix and no expectation that you become more comfortable with change.
It is simply a place to notice how familiarity shapes our expectations, and what may become visible when things do not go quite as usual.
Life Note No. 004 — Leave a Little Room is available as a free download in both printable and fillable formats.
Before You Go...
The next time something changes and your first thought is, “Well, that was not supposed to happen,” notice it.
You may still prefer the original plan. But before deciding what you think of the new one, give it a little room to unfold.
Sometimes the most useful response may simply be:
“Well, apparently we are improvising now.”